Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Forget the Noise

I've come to the belief that the greatest sin, whether self inflicted or inflicted by others, is noise.  A real and figurative noise that intrudes upon your mind - the senseless ideals of others; the facade and the mask; the constant demand without giving; the forced conscription of what you should feel, what you are told should be important to you; and self preservation at the subjugation of others.  I find that the older I get the more intolerable I become of donning the mask.  To be less literary....I can't put up with the bull shit anymore.

Once upon a time I found it necessary to deconstruct and live in the abstract; to rebel; to find the timbre and depth of my own voice.  I now find my greatest strength is in my silence, in my resilience against the noise.  It is the only road to a precious self possession which is a gift not given but fought for.  And it is fought for within a slither of truth wedged between the noise of two historical extremes.   One the one hand the self important narcissists puffed up by their own sense of self worth, immodest altruism and intellectualism dangling loose from practicality.  On the other the self righteous ideologues promoting dogma and adherence to discipline for the sake of maintaining but not advancing.  Both of them draw lines in the sand.  And as much as they wish the lines to be unyielding we have seen abundant proof that in the end nature will ignore it.  Nature will ignore us.  It will shake, storm, blow, rupture, rip and rend despite us.  And ultimately nature will forget us.  So in our brief lives we must do as nature and ignore the noise that divorces our mind from our inner truth.